Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Untold Stories of the ER

A fascinating, often profoundly moving reality show following ER doctors.  Some of the stories are implausible although real.

A guy arrives missing his right arm.  "I was at a bus stop, and three guys with scimitars attacked me."  The next arrival has some serious cuts by guys with scimitars.  The police in the meantime bring in the missing arm; reattachment failed.  The next two arrivals have minor injuries.   Their doctor by this point is finding all of this surreal.  "Men with scimitars, right?"  "We are the men with the scimitars."  Three guys broke into their house with robbery in mind.  Two of the idiots see the scimitars and start play-dueling with them, at which point the residents take away the scimitars and defend themselves.  (Third idiot had a gun; smarter than the two dueling.)

A 21 year old woman comes in with a stopped heart.  The doctor has just signed a death certificate for another ER patient, so he spends more than TWO hours with the nurses doing CPR, and finally gets her heart going.  She is now married and in law school.

A 70 year old woman shows up with a heart attack.  She dies; everyone has given up on reviving her. The doctor goes and gives the bad news to her extended family.  (They were having a birthday party for her.)  A granddaughter explains she was a very strong-willed woman.  The doctor goes back to sign the death certificate.  The woman's heart is beating; she is alive.  Talk about strong-willed!

A young black man comes in catatonic except for letting out a blood curdling scream every minute or so.  All the tests are showing no reason.  At some point, doctor looks in his ear.  There's a cockroach in there biting his eardrum; hence the screams.  It turns out he has phobia about bugs in his ears, and the catatonia was a panic reaction.  Remove the cockroach; he immediately recovers.

It gets weirder.  Young Caribbean woman in excruciating pain because her village cursed her with a liver demon.  She is squeezing her muscles so tightly to squeeze it out that toxins are beginning to shut down her kidneys.  "The doctor says to a nurse, "Where do I find a liver demon specialist?"  "Caribbean Cultural Center."  He calls, explains the problem in one sentence, and they put him through to the liver demon specialist.

1 comment:

Will said...

I've read that the problem with cockroaches in the ear canal is they are unable to back up. They have to be extracted, otherwise they will try to eat their way free.